• Employment. There's only me here, and I'm not hiring.
• Please don't ask me to link to your article or website.
• I'm not going to bundle your toolbar with my programs.
• The source code for my software is not available.
• Requests to release my software for other operating systems.
• I'm on Twitter and Facebook and I'm not joining anything else.
• I meant it about offering services. I mark them all as spam.
Now, on to the more complicated requests I tend to get:
• Your anti-virus software thinks there's a virus or a trojan in my software
Please contact the AV company instead of me. Submit the 'offending' program to them for further analysis, especially if the virus is 'win32.generic', which is shorthand for 'we don't know, maybe possibly it's a threat because it looks like something we once saw in a completely different program'.
This is why an AI will never rule the planet - they'd be too busy trying to tax ants for being six-legged humans.
• Break your requests into multiple emails.
Yes, really, I prefer lots of short emails, even from the same person. If you send one email with five questions, I won't reply until I can address all of them - which is never. If you send 5 separate emails, I'll reply to bits when I can.
I know it seems like you're bugging me by sending multiple emails, but in this case it's a really good idea.
Having covered all that (sorry, but I really am trying to save you time!), you can If you include the word 'apricot' in your subject line the email will bypass my spam filters. This isn't essential, but it can avoid delays.
I'm Simon Haynes, programmer and author.
Welcome to Spacejock Software
All my software is virus-free. No unwanted toolbars, trojans or other nasties.
Coming Soon Spire of Atlantia
Customize your character and home. Form relationships with the island's inhabitants. Explore the dangerous island and fight your way up the Spire of Atlantia!
A third-person RPG for Windows PC.