• Employment. There's only me here, and I'm not hiring.
• Please don't ask me to link to your article or website.
• I'm not going to bundle your toolbar with my programs.
• The source code for my software is not available.
• I meant it about offering services. I mark them all as spam.
Now, on to the more complicated requests I tend to get:
• Your anti-virus software thinks there's a virus or a trojan in my software
Please contact the AV company instead of me. Submit the 'offending' program to them for further analysis, especially if the virus is 'win32.generic', which is shorthand for 'we don't know, maybe possibly it's a threat because it looks like something we once saw in a completely different program'.
This is why an AI will never rule the planet - they'd be too busy trying to tax ants for being six-legged humans.